Happiness - Working Title...

"Hello old friend. Oh my, do we have some catching up to do."

Thats the sentence I have found myself saying a lot lately.

I feel like I have woken up from a two-year long coma and have slotted myself back into the world again. I finally feel like I can be a me that I'm happy with. I've spent so long trying to shut my brain off and not opening up that I forgot how much I love to talk and day dream and plan for the future. I've neglected so many people in my life out of what I thought was necessity, but every one of them has welcomed me back with open arms.

I have a few people in my life that have always been hell-bent on being happy. This allusive thing I've never felt overall about my life - I thought it meant all day everyday sat there with a cheshire-cat grin on your face. I know I've been happy but I always relied on someone else to get me there. Knowing this, I thought that I had become a good liar by being able to get out the words to convince them. Recently though, I have been told that that wasn't the case.

In the last few months these people have seen the change in me and highlighted it to me. I've also seen it in myself too, I sing more, smile more, laugh harder than I ever have. I strike up conversations easier and make an effort to do something with my day and generally have a more positive outlook on life. I didn't allow myself to look towards the future because all it did was depress me that it wasn't happening now. I've always wanted to be older than I actually am, and have all the things that came with it - The house, the kids and the responsibility were the only things I thought I would be content with. I'm still excited for the things, but I'm more looking forward to the journey to get there.

"What changed?" I can't hear you ask.

I went on holiday... Not a big thing in itself, I know. But to me it was the best move I've made so far. It was the first time I had left the country in three years and the first time ever without an adult! I thought that I was a very cautious person, someone who didn't like being too far from my home. I didn't like the thought of not being able to get myself home if I felt uncomfortable or scared and I thought that I wouldn't enjoy going away, but being away was completely different this time, and since then I haven't had any feelings like that - I feel at home wherever I am.

Tomorrow is something I look forward to now, and I'm loving it!

Natasha

25 QUESTIONS (TAG) - GET TO KNOW ME BETTER

1. Do you have any pets? 

Yes I have one Dog - called Ali, one Hamster - Called Macon and two Cats - Called Hollie and Harley.

2. Name 3 things that are physically close to you.

My Dog

My Blogging notebook

Dr Pepper

 3. What's the weather like right now? 

Over-casty

4. Do you drive? If so have you crashed? 

I am learning to drive at the moment, I have had a few close calls but no I have never crashed (touch wood!)

5. What time did you wake up this morning? 

I woke up around quarter to ten.

6. When was the last time you showered? 

This morning (im counting it as the morning as i got out after 12 noon!)

7. What was the last movie you saw? 

The last movie that I started to watch was 'Girl most likely' but the last movie I watched in full was either 'Bring it on - Fight to the Finish' or 'Not Another Teen Movie'

8. What does your last text message say? 

Its from my mum saying ' I am outside'

9. What's your ringtone? 

The 'Old Phone' iPhone ringtone

10. Have you ever been to a different country? 

I have been to Tunisia, Martinique, France and Spain.

11. Do you like sushi? 

I am not a very big fan but if I am hungry and it is there then I'll eat it.

12. Where do you buy your groceries? 

Either ASDA or Sainsbury's

13. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? 

No - I have however drunk Hot Chocolate to aid drowsiness.

14. How many siblings do you have? 

Yes, i have five siblings - I have three brothers - 25, 10 and 6 - and I have two sisters - 23 and 3.

15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? 

Laptop

16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 

I will turn 18 - next June.

17. Do you wear contacts or glasses? 

I wear both it just depends if I can be bothered to poke my eyes in the morning or not.

18. Do you color your hair? 

I do - I have never actually dyed it myself though, i have either gone to a salon, had my mum do it or had a family friend do it.

19. Tell me something you are planning to do today. 

Have a family dinner with my mum, brother, brother's Girlfriend and my grandma for my brother's 25th birthday last Wednesday.

20. When was the last time you cried? 

I think it was when I was watching an episode of Orange is the New Black - I cant fully remember though.

21. What is your perfect pizza topping? 

BBQ sauce!

22. Which do you prefer-hamburgers or cheeseburgers? 

Cheeseburgers with extra relish, dill pickle and onion - I like to eat!

23. Have you ever had an all-nighter? 

Yes - but not that I am proud of it!

24. What is your eye colour? 

My eye colour varies in light - sometimes it is green and sometimes it is brown.

25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke? 

Yes I can but I prefer Dr Pepper.

I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a bit better.

Natasha